My kids will be raised on jokes and laughter.
They will know the difference between an offensive joke
And a really fucking funny joke,
As a matter of fact, my kids gon’ call you out,
Ask you to explain why you think your joke is so funny.
As a family unit, we will laugh while you stumble across your words
As you try to my child why you thought your shitty joke was so funny.
My kids will know how to tell a joke, too
In my family, you must have thick skin,
There’s no way they are getting away with
Not getting clowned on,
Me, as their mother, might be their biggest roaster.
My kids will be raised on fun and freedom,
They will know their privilege,
Know that their comfortable lives
Came with great sacrifice
And there’s no way they’re going to fuck it up
By being little ungrateful assholes.
My kids will know how to climb trees and hop fences.
They will be Mexican and with the way things are going in this country,
Who knows what my kids will need to be prepared for,
But If I gotta climb a tree and hope a fence,
My kids better keep up! Or else they’re shit out of luck. Just kidding …
But more importantly,
They will respect life and nature.
My kids will be raised as spider ninjas and tree huggers.
By that, I mean,
My kids will know the importance of every life on earth,
The ants, the spiders, the grass, the flowers,
They will know the power humans have,
And they will harness it for the greater good.
My kids will be raised with animals,
Companions, not pets,
And they’ll treat them as their siblings,
And they’ll learn to care for a life other than their own,
And they’ll make up human voices for our fur family members,
“Hi, my name is Wobbles, the rescue cat,
and I almost got eaten by my biological mom.”
My kids will be raised on gangsta rap and classic rock
But not that problematic shit,
No, TOO $HORT, I don’t know what your favorite word is,
And neither will my kids – BIATCH!
They better bob their head when 2Pac comes on,
And I hope they know the lyrics to “Dream On”
By Aerosmith, and if their Dad is down,
We will all jam to Childish Gambino
My kids will be raised with faith,
They will have the fear of God in them,
The fear of the chancla,
The fear of abuelita,
But my kids shall fear not, none of those I just mentioned will ever, ever hurt them.
But they better not fuck around
Cause I’d hate to call el cucuy on them.
My kids will be raised with my wisdom,
They will learn to live life with no regrets,
Me and their Dad,
Will hold their hands through the dark times,
But we will also poke fun at their mistakes,
Don’t judge us –
Life’s too short.
Give me a break.
Finally – my kids will be raised on poetry,
They will learn that I am a warrior,
But I do not fight with my fists,
Rather, only with my lips,
I story-tell, empower and uplift,
This is my power as a poet.
If I’m lucky,
this is a power I will pass on to my kids.